Patience

Did you know that you can't do everything at once? Did you know you can't clean the whole house at the same time? Did you know if you think that cleaning the whole house is the goal it is too overwhelming and we avoid the whole idea and find something less oppressing to do?

Did you know it doesn't have to be that way.

You can't scrub a counter, clean a toilet, dust that picture, and fold laundry at the same time. Maybe if we were Elastigirl (Mrs. incredible) and had 3 extra sets of hands. The problem is we can think of 20 things that need to be done while we are working on a task.

So let's think of 2 or 3 things that you want or need to done. You are more than welcome and encouraged to put everything else on a list. Save it for later. Now take another 10 seconds and think of the very next action that will move those tasks forward.

You are still making progress to the ideal, a clean house. But it is no longer an impossible dream (cleaning the whole house). It is actionable, it is doable, and by doing it you will feel accomplished instead of guilty because you do what you wanted to do.

I also loved this thought, "Today all your duties with patience fulfill." Isn't that great. We don't (and can't) do everything. But we can do something. Take a deep breath and have a little patience with yourself and decide the one thing you can do now.

Date Change on Workshop

If you are interested.  

 

Dear Moms...

To those of you who were interested in my workshop but not able to make it due to UEA - ask and ye shall receive! The date has been changed to NEXT thursday October 25th. But there are limited spots, so make sure to register soon at this link!

Tenille Eyre Cundick
Power of Moms Certified Trainer

If you are interested

This is an email I got today. And I wanted to pass it along.

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Dear Moms...

I hope each of you are doing wonderful - that you had a great summer, and are glad to be back in the routine of the school-year. Personally I'm pretty sad to see summer go since most of my summer was involved in getting ready for a new baby and then adjusting to having one! But I am also grateful that we've finally gotten into a routine - and the school year has really helped with that.

I wanted to let you know that I am hosting a Five Steps to Less Stress workshop this next Thursday - September 27 at 7:30pm. These five steps are the very basics of the Mind Organization for Moms program written by April Perry, based on David Allen's book Getting Things Done. The M.O.M. program has helped me so much in becoming more of the mother I want to be on a daily basis - and that is why I'm taking the time to host this workshop for other mothers! If you have the time and desire to join me, please follow this link to the registration page. There is a small fee of $15 for this workshop, and the size will be limited in size so that we can have great discussions and really learn from one another.

Tenille Eyre Cundick
Power of Moms Certified Trainer

If you wish to not receive my emails, please reply and let me know. I won't be hurt one bit! All you need to do is say UNSUBSCRIBE in the title field!

The link http://powerofmoms.com/upcoming-retreats-and-workshops/five-steps-to-less-stress-workshop-in-salt-lake-city-may-31-2012/

A Mind like Ivy

I was out tacking a yard project this morning.  Well, I guess I should say I wanted to tackle a yard project.  After being in this house for 3 years, I discovered cement curbing!  Under overgrown ivy.  It was like discovering buried treasure.

I started pulling the ivy out like this

All in a bundle.  It was too hard.  All my amazing upper arm strength couldn't make it budge.  I got discouraged.  My self talk was like, "this is just too hard. , I can't do it.  I don't have time for this." 

Then I thought of trying one vine at a time.  

Like this. 

And it was super easy.  And I pulled out a nice long, satisfying vine!  And I was making progress!  And it took some hard work, but I did get my curbing uncovered!  

It really reminded me of my brain.  Sometime it is a jumbled tangle of vines and I don't know where to start, and it is all too hard and I get discouraged and want to give up.  But if we take that tangle and focus on one vine at a time we can make progress on all the things that are on our mind!  

One vine at a time, one thing at a time.  We can make progress.  So when everything you have to do is jumbling up your mind, take a few minutes to do a great mind dump, and start doing one thing on your list at a time. 

If I can do it, You can do it!

School STUFF!

A new beginning a new school year, a great time to get a system that you trust!  

I loved my in box.  I dumped out the small pile of junk collected in there.  And then I put in the things that really needed my attention.  School papers!  

I filled out forms*.  I signed what I needed.  I scanned info.  I sorted things that were relevant and things that we junk.  It took about 15 minutes for 3 school kids.  I saved one paper that I needed to look at more closely and do something online with the computer.  

Then I had Stuff left over.  What was I going to do with the stuff.  It was important because it had information on it.  I had read through the class info, but I wasn't ready to throw it away.  It still had value, but I didn't want it crowding my counter space.  

Da da DAH!  Folders to the rescue!  

I just made three folders.  Kid #1 School Info, Kid #2 School Info, and you guessed it, Kid #3 School Info.  So now I have reference folders for the info that I don't need right now, but I might as the year goes on.

*lest you think I am some super crazy lady, I did let my kids watch tv and relax after school, and even let them play outside for a long time, and we got our 15 minutes of getting things done right before it was bedtime.  

Summer Inversion

I can't believe I haven't posted all summer long!!!

But I'm back. 

Confession:  I haven't felt I was living up to my own values in regards to the Art of Stress Free Productivity for a few months now.  Hence, the reason I haven't posted anything. But I have a clear mind now and I'm ready to take on new challenges, and even the old challenges I didn't want to face. 

More Info:  My family is moving.  My family (with kids aged 9, 7, 5, 2 and 2) is moving to Brazil for 2 years.  It just rocked my whole world.  I was feeling so good.  I was gettinig so much done.  I was on a role!  Then this came and knocked me back.  I had a hard time getting back on track. 

Everything that was on my pre-Brazil To Do lists wasn't relevant anymore.  Everything that was on my "For Brazil" mind I couldn't do anything about (there were a lot of unknowns about our departure).  I felt trapped. 

You know in the winter when the valley fills up with smog from the inversion.  That is how I felt in my brain.  Lot's of pressure and no clear view on what to do next.  There were so many unknowns.  When we would be leaving, what we needed to bring, what we needed to buy.  Well I finally feel like I've driven up the mountain and above all the smoggy air and can see clearly!  

It's the best feeling in the world. 

And I can start again to Get Things Done!

Here is what is getting me going.

"We can't always go back to the beginning for a new start, but we can start from now and make a brand new end."  Let's start from NOW.  What is the most relevent or important thing to do now.  Keep your To Do lists relevant by reviewing them often and not be afraid to take something off your ASAP list and put it on your Someday Maybe list. 

And "It only takes 2 minutes."  My 2 minute tasks are saving me.  Because I am doing them.  I'm doing the little things and I get in the momentum of doing.  So instead of being overwhelmed I am taking action.  It may not be all the big things that are on my list, but I am tackling those big things by taking my next action on the little things.

And of course.  "What is the very next step that will move this project forward?"  Taking a little extra thought into a project can help you decide the veryNext Action.

So Feel Free to share your experiences.  What is on your mind?  What happens when you take the next step to get it off your mind? 

With More Clarity I can say No

When you know how much you have to do in a certain amount of time, it gives you the power to say No.  When someone asks you if you can help with something you will know what you have on your plate already and you know if you can handle it.

We all want to help.  That is good.  But we all can't do everything.  We need to know our limits so when we say yes we can follow through.  We can be someone that others count on to get the job done.  Because when we say yes to something we know we can handle it.

Through the process of a weekly review, in box management and next action lists that are current we will know what we have already on our plate, then we won't feel guilty when we don't pick up something new.  And that will lead to less stress and fewer moments of being overwhelmed!  Yay!

Less Stress means more Yes

I said yes this morning.

I said yes to my 7 year old son. 

I said yes to a Lego building competition after school. 

That would not have happened 4 months ago.  I would have said no very quickly because I had 20 more things to do before me left for school.  And the very thought of all those little pieces would be too much to handle.  Let alone wasting all that time when so many things are left undone. 

But I had a clear head this morning.  I was in the middle of blow drying my hair, but I was making progress.  I had 10 more minutes before we left for school.  We were busy but we weren't frantic.  And I was able to say yes. 

I think that is big difference for my kids.  I told him right then to write it down and put it in my In Box.  (Now that my In Box is relevant again!)  He was satisfied.  And I was pleased.  And that is one step to a happier family.

An Irrelevant In Box! (Gasp!)

The Irrelevant In Box

So how did my In Box get in this state?  Lots of business, plus a little piling.  And the pile completely repelled me because of the busyness.   It did serve it's purpose in the beginning.  I put all my mind dump for a 60+ luncheon, and opera costumes in it on little pieces of paper.  But then I transferred them to my gmail task list.  But I didn't remove them from my In Box.  Silly Me. 

The In Box, exploded view. 

Here it is in all it's "repelling" glory

So let's start again, shall we?  Let's use the review process to take a step forward.  I have 30 minutes before I have to go to bed, and this will really move forward my life and clarity!  

 Anything you can do in 2 minutes, just Do It.  In this case it was a lot of move it too.  Why was it in there?  The book goes in the book shelf.  The magazine goes in my read and review pile.  The elastic goes in my newly organized sewing tote.  The chapstick goes in the drawer an arms length a way.  The little bottle of stuff goes upstairs my bathroom.  YAY!  It doesn't have to repel me anymore!

 Sadly enough, it is nothing I can delegate.  (Although I did delegate a lot of things that stressed me out, like programs for the luncheon, and the dreaded Centerpieces for the luncheon.)  It was an awesome feeling to find someone who is better at it than me and was willing to help out!  I just had to ask. 

 Defer It.  It goes on my Next Action List (mine is on the computer.)  Done. 

 Ooo Wee, Baby!  So much could be recycle.   Like how on earth did a piece of clean tin foil get in my In Box.  It just further repelled me with all it's reflective glory!  So much of this is paper stuff that I had already taken care of, or stuff I didn't care about anymore.  It was important.  It wasn't relevant.  It goes in the "trash"!

 Save for Reference.  I filed it.  I put coupons in my monthly tickler file.  I put the journal entry for last year's Disneyland trip in my file.  I put my expired passport on a file.  I put my Relief Society notes in their file.  I put my 3rd Grade Health Lesson plan in another place (long story, it GOES in the Health Book, but some helpful person who is away on business right now as moved the Health Book, so I don't have a place for two papers.  Scary!)

Someday, Maybe List.  I happened to not have something for this.  But I could have!  I should have just made something up so it wouldn't look so lonesome.  Aren't you glad I'm not perfect!

What To Do with Your Amazing Idea

So I have been reading another book from David Allen and came across these little gems, that summarize things so well.

Regarding these great ideas you have that you know you are going to do, until you think of the next great idea and the first one got lost (because we didn't write it down.)

So CAPTURE it so you can act on your amazing idea.

And I quote:

" #1 Make decisions about what we are going to do with our stuff and the next actions required to do it.  Things on list and in stacks and email generally repel instead of attract us to get involved, until we know exactly what our intention is about them and whether the next step is to make a call, draft a responses, buy nails, talk to and so on.

 #2 Write down outcomes and actions, if we don't do them in the moment we think of them.  Even if we decide what we need to do about something and file it in psychic RAM, we run serious risk of losing sight of the action and creating  instant failure and unnecessary stress.  That part of us (the psychic RAM) thinks we could be doing everything in there all at once. 

#3.  Look at reminders (when we could effectively move in them.).  . . When you're in a certain context, to be the most efficient, you need to see all the things, that could done in that context. "A little bit of thinking (What's my intention? What's my next action?) creates relaxed focus and control."   

"Because most people resist thinking at all about many things.  Why?  Because their minds are so quick and sophisticated that they glance at a situation and freak themselves out with all the intricate details of what they're afraid they have to think about -- if they thought about it.  So it has a piece of them, psychologically.  Decide the outcome and the action step, put reminders of those somewhere where our brains trust you'll see them at the right time and listen to your brain breathe easier: "Ah, done . . For now."

Good reminders!  I hope to start some blog posts taking these one step at a time.  It's like a complete opposite of the evening where it was all given in 2 hours.  Now we will have time to process and implement.

Who's with me?!

Falling Off and Getting Back On

No one is perfect.  Especially me.  I fell off my own organization wagon.   I was so energized for 2 or 3 months.  Usually my grand ideas only last a week or so.  But this changes was lasting and I loved it.

 But then life happened. 

Unexpected changes (Insert your Own, new diagnoses, job change, moving, etc.) that I was not ready to accept.  So I lived in the land of denial for a few weeks.  That is never good.  I tried to ignore my unwanted change but that was not helping at all.  

I still functioned.  But I wasn't on top of things like the good old glory months.  Then the craziest weeks of the school year was upon me*. 

How do I get back to being in relaxed control.  I wanted to have that peace like a river.  Always in motion but peaceful and calm not harried. 

So I read this by David Allen:  "Circumstances that seem the most out of our control and grief producing . . . can catch us off guard."

"To get a grip, what must you do?  First accept what the game is." See the target.  "But even if you know where you are headed, you will still feel paralyzed and at the mercy of forces larger than yourself, until you do one thing: determine the next move."

You are no longer the victim of your circumstances.  You have chosen to act.  You believe you can do something. 

"When the world has shifted on you in whatever way, what would success NOW mean for you, and what activity will move you NOW in that direction?  It's very easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the game shouldn't have changed and that the old rules still should apply."

OK.  So I'm in a new game now.  I will have to learn some new rules, but I can do it.  I will get back from self-doubt thinking, "I can't do it all" and say to myself "I can do something."  (hopefully it only takes 2 minutes.)

*A family camping trip, a seniors luncheon, sewing easter dresses, big sewing projects for one class and two different school operas a week apart.

Less Than $5 Tickler Box

Putting off a Tickler File because you think it will cost too much. 

Isn't your sanity worth it?  Besides it can be pretty cheep! 

Feel free to ignore the wrinkly tablecloth.  But I'm a bit proud of the fact that no one is perfect.  Exhibit A!  The wrinkles! 

So I get the milk box for free at Costco with the purchase of 2 gallons of milk.  I found the contact paper at the dollar store, for a dollar!  And a pack of 100 file folders is $7, and you only need 43. 

But if you really want to be fancy I saw a neat plexiglass folder box for $7 and Fun Colored files for $4 for 30. 

But for me it's not the outside appearance that matters, it is what's on the Inside that Counts!



P.S. We go through 8 gallons of milk a week, so if you want a milk box I have plenty!

What a Relief to have an In Box

I was feeling a little overwhelmed this morning.  I really want to start on sewing some easter dresses.  I have done some good actions to lead up to it.  I got the patterns.  I got the fabric.  I measured the girls last night again.  I really would LOVE to start them.  

But I have some things to do that are a little more pressing.  

So put it in my In Box.  And I felt such a relief.  

I will get to them.  But I don't have to do it RIGHT NOW!  It's OK not to do it right now.  I will have more time at nap time.  

Right now is a good time to eat breakfast and make a couple of phone calls.  

I can do that.  And I don't feel stressed out of my brain that I can't do everything I want.  

What a relief to have an In Box!

A Nice Bedtime Mind Dump

Oh the simple joys of doing a mind dump before bed.  I just have some spiral notebooks next to the bed and a pen.  And it was awesome.  Just 12 little things I needed to jot down, but it made a great night's sleep and I was ready to take care of some of the things in the morning, and put some things on my Someday List.

It is still Happening and No One's Perfect

I was talking with someone this morning who told me how she was getting things done.  She has had some scrapbooking she has wanted to do for 7 months. 

Guess what?  She started working on it.  Why?  Because she did the next action to move it forward, she went to the shed and got a box out that she needed.  That is all it took and she got the chance to work on it!  She is moving it forward after being stalled for a while. 

Isn't that cool? 

Now for the no one's perfect. 

Last night I was totally overwhelmed and didn't think I could do anything (probably because I was exhausted.)  It all started because of a conflict with 2 school programs I was involved in a week apart.  (I thought I would have at least 3 weeks between them or I wouldn't have signed up to help.) 

But I had a good night's rest, and woke up with a few easy actions on my mind.  It was a rough morning with the kids.  We were almost late for school (and carpool pick up).  But I got the most important thing to do that day done (an email response to my sister.)  And I felt like I could do more.

But right before lunch time it happened again.  Overwhelmed.  A little 2 year old refusing to wear a coat, but coming in crying because he was cold, but still not letting me put a coat on him.  Plus a lot of things looming.  I was feeling like my energy was drained. 

But then I had a chance to look at my list from this morning (it was written on a post it note on my counter.)  And I really did get the 5 things done I wanted to do this morning (make lunch for the kids, email sister, get the oil changed, get stuff for dinner tonight, and call a lady)

And now I feel so much more at peace.  My mind is calmed down enough to sit down and do nothing with my willful little boy on my lap.  It was nice.  It was needed. 

Tickler File: Weird Name, Amazing Tool

Some people had to leave a little early because of other commitments (like putting kids to bed). 

And I hate for them to miss out on the amazing Tickler File.  So amazing my husband even loves it. 

So it is amazing, but also so simple.  43 file folders.  And something to put them in.  That's it. 

Lable one set 1 through 31 for the days of the week. 

And the other set Jan through Dec for the months.

I happened to have a labeler but it isn't necessary.  If you want to borrow mine just let me know. 

Then I put it together like this.

The current month goes in the front (in this case March).  Then the days that are left in the month go behind it (in this case 20, since today is 3/19).  I don't have a fabulous photo, but the days that we have already gone through (1-19) have now been moved to April.  Because, you know what, it is a perpetual calendar!  And it is amazing. 

Why is it amazing?  Because I can put all sorts of things in it that I don't want to forget and it saves it for me.  And I can pull it out exactly on the day I need it.

Examples:  Wedding Reception Invites, Party Invitations.  I leave the invitation on the day (so I can grab it for an address).  I put a sticky in the folder a few days before the party with a note that says, "Buy present."  or "Mail card."

See below for the example with Kohl's bonus cash (or whatever). 

I put in my husband's itinerary on the day he flies out.   I put in checks that I need to send with my preschooler.   I put in reminders to sign up  for dance classes before the deadlines. 

What is amazing is that it frees up my calendar for the things that I must do.  And I can put things in it, like things I would like to do if there is time and the kids are not to fussy or if the kids are too fussy and I need to get them out of the house!  I put in library fliers for story times.  Something I don't HAVE to do, but I could do. 

And it is such a nice little friend, this tickler file, because it helps get it all off my mind and I don't worry about missing anything.  I will review it often enough (like every night before I go to bed) to know what is happening.  But I don't worry.  And it is fantastic!

Get your folders!  They even fit nice in a milk box from costco, and you were just going to recycle that anyway. 



The Tickler File Strikes Again

Aha!  I got to use my tickler file again today!

The thought came to me while I was at Kohl's and they handed me a very unexpected $10 bounce back coupon.  Wow, did I feel important.  But she warned, it was only good starting March 23rd. 

Then I thought, I can put it in my tickler file.  Then I won't be disappointed when I miss the deadline.  I will use it!  I will use it on the two teddy bears I wanted to buy the twins, but couldn't justify the expense at the time.

I love you tickler file.

Unexpected Amazingness

I was thinking today of the unexpected great things that have come because of Getting Things Done.  First it is having a clear mind.  I'm not frazzled and stressed out most of the day anymore.  That state of mind really gets my normal day to day responsibilities taken care of.  And when the day to day stuff gets done then I actually feel like I can do more of the stuff that I "know I should be doing" (which are my values). 

So here is my unexpected amazingness for today (because it still amazes me that I can do things that I have wanted to do for a long time and didn't do and felt guilty about it). 

#1  I got up early (5:45 am) to go swimming (as exercise).  I have to admit it was a struggle this morning.  I was so tired!  But I did it anyway. 

#2 I felt good that I went swimming

#3  I was home early to see my husband leave for work

#4 I got to spend some quiet time with my 2 sons that were already awake

       (Let me tell you how my mornings used to go.  SO tired in the morning, because I stayed up late trying to get everything done after the kids have gone to bed.  So I don't get up until I absolutely have to 7:45 am.  Or earlier with my early-rising sons literally dragging me out of bed.  Then I lay on the couch downstairs while they entertain themselves.  Then I had mommy guilt.)

#5  I used my "In" basket for my kids.  So they can write on a piece of paper and put it in my "In" basket and I promise to do that for them today.  So my oldest son writes, "Play Set" and puts it in the basket this morning.

#6  So we play set.  It's really peaceful.  I have time because I was up early.  I don't have to wake up the other 3 kids for 20 minutes. 

#7  I give lots of positive attention to my son who craves it.  And I get to patiently teach him how to play a game that he thought he was not smart enough to play.  Wow.  It still amazes me.  I have wanted to do that for so long! 

#8  Now I can (on occasion) have my actions be inline with my values.  I'm not perfect but I'm making progress and that is huge for me. 

#9  And I had time to make smoothies for all the kids this morning.  They loved it and it was such a great way to start the day.  (versus, my usual, frantic, "We're Late!!!!!") 

It's all because I got my day to day under control and my mind clear and it opened it up for possibilities (swimming and up early).  Amazing Unexpectedness!

Results!

I've been talking with 6 people who came last night who have tried something new they learned from our night.  Each one has seen positive result!  That is so exciting!  One worked for a short time cleaning up the kids room with the kids.  But afterward she had a chance to have fun and connect with them!  One had to wake up at 3 am with a child to help them get back to sleep.  She did a mind dump and was able to go back to sleep!  Another is feeling such freedom from not feeling weighed down from "THE PROJECT" but feels empowered to do a step that moves her that much closer to getting it done. 

Last night I saw the pile of laundry needing to be folded.  I wondered if I could get it done in 2 minutes and it gave me the incentive to try.  So it took 6 minutes at least it got done!

I am so excited to hear about your success, great or small.  Feel free to post your progress!  And also if you hit a road bump or have a question post that too.  We can all work on it together. 

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